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Software Vault: The Diamond Collection
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The Diamond Collection (Software Vault)(Digital Impact).ISO
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KIM09.TXT
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1995-02-18
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88 lines
BEING A SCIENTOLOGIST ON A.R.S
And so, I started posting as a Scientologist to a.r.s. I received
private communications from a few Scientologists who lurk here -
"Welcome back to the Theta world" type of thing - there weren't many -
about 5, after the infamous "Doubt announcement" posting.
I was not allowed to join the Scientologist forum, "Theta-L" until I
had worked my way up into a condition of "Normal" (this would take
QUITE a while). And that's when they made their first mistake.
Because at that stage, I was totally committed to being a
Scientologist. They denied me communication, as a punishment, I
suppose, but they did NOT realise how much communication I was
receiving in private from the members of a.r.s - "Delete all entheta
mail" they said - but how could I delete messages which showed
nothing but care and concern? To me, those messages were NOT entheta,
and so I read them, each and every one. To all of those who wrote to
me then, I say THANK YOU - your strongest weapon was the fact that
you CARED, you genuinely CARED, and that reached deep, deep in, below
all the mind-control, and touched me. It played a MAJOR role in
helping me finally break with the Church.
A NOTE ABOUT DENNIS AND I
Most of you will remember the fracas between Dennis Erlich and I,
when he posted my private e-mail. He took MAJOR heat over that, and I
feel it necessary to explain my part in it. When I first arrived on
a.r.s., I befriended him in private, and we became good friends.
Then, when I suddenly turned, I stopped communicating with him. He
became convinced that I was an OSA operative, and thought I had been
all along - I DON'T BLAME him - when you have been in as deep into
the Church as he has, when you have been betrayed by double-double-
counter agents as many times as he has, what else could he think?
In fact, and THIS is the REAL danger of mind-control - NO-ONE
instructed me to go for Dennis, I decided, from my Scientology mind-
set, that Dennis was to be attacked, because he has been declared a
Suppressive person. And now I am going to open up and expose a part
of myself that I am DEEPLY, deeply ashamed of. I had seen the
hopelessly incompetent attempts of the Scientologists to try and
"handle" a.r.s. - embarressingly stupid. Brian Wenger's posting of
Dennis's files onto the net was just IDIOTIC. All that did was
disgust everyone.
So, I saw what was needed and wanted - "handle" a.r.s - start by
exposing Dennis Erlich as a Suppressive. But let him do it HIMSELF.
So, I provoked Dennis. I manoevred him into a position where he had
no choice but to attack me (CRINGE - I knew he cared enough to do
it, if he didn't care, he would have left it, because he's no fool,
he knew EXACTLY what I was doing - I USED his care for me against
him!!) He also knew, that I was a bit brighter than most of the
Scientologists here, and he knew that I was dangerous - he tried to
warn others, and with good reason - because I knew what I was going
to do next to handle a.r.s. - go for the sharp ones, individually -
Martin had quite a tussle with me, in private, but I backed off. I
couldn't coninue with it, it sickened me.
And so Dennis went for me. Only he and I knew what was really going
on. He got flamed. My strategy was a success. It turned many people
(not all, some saw through it) against him. How were you all to know
what you were dealing with??? THIS is the deviousness that mind-
control creates. I am really, really sorry everyone. If you feel
disgust for me, I understand. I feel utter disgust for myself, that I
sunk to such depths. And that I was so good at it.
No, I still don't think publishing private e-mail without the
person's permission is acceptable. But in this one instance, it was
all Dennis could do. Dennis and I are friends again. We have made up,
he has forgiven me. He understands. I am still ashamed of it, I still
have to work through my guilt.
More to follow in Part 10
Kim Baker
Kim Baker
Cape Town, South Africa E-Mail: Kim@uctlib.uct.ac.za
______________________________________________________________________
"Thoughtcrime is a dreadful thing, old man. It's insiduous. It can get
hold of you without you even knowing it."
- From "Nineteen-eighty-four", George Orwell